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The New Job Is Very Loki

(I have been working at the store for a few months. I haven’t had the funds for a haircut, thus my hair is fairly long. I also am sporting a full beard. A couple and their young son come to my register and I ring them up.)

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Child: *who has been staring at me* “Um… excuse me…”

Me: “Yes?”

Child: “Are you Thor?”

Me: *trying not to crack* “Yes, son, I am. I’m actually on an undercover mission from my father, Odin, hunting for Loki. He may be in disguise. Let me know if you see him, all right?”

Child: “YES, I WILL! WOW! WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYONE AT SCHOOL I MET THOR!”

(It was the highlight of that job. I kept the Thor voice the whole time and his parents gave me the most grateful smiles!)

Read more funny stories at NotAlwaysRight.com!:

(Source: tumblr.com)

I didn’t know sabatons were just plates on the top of the foot, and you have to wear boots underneath. I always figured they were just jointed metal shoes.

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Why do I feel like “maybe this time when I watch Game of Thrones, Ned Stark and Khal Drogo will be okay”?

Recolour: Siege at Blue Mountain 1-p03 by AmethystSadachbia

I recoloured a page of Elfquest mostly for shits and giggles.

Recolour: Siege at Blue Mountain 1-p03 by AmethystSadachbia

I recoloured a page of Elfquest mostly for shits and giggles.

I’ve never been to medical school, so I don’t presume to tell my doctor I know better than she does if she gives me news I don’t like. “I don’t have cancer! Cancer is a hoax! I can’t actually touch it or feel it!”

I don’t have a degree in physics or advanced mathematics, so I don’t presume to know more than NASA astronomers who spend months calculating launch routes for satellites and exploratory craft. “The Sun is RIGHT THERE! How much math can it possibly take? Just shoot straight up!”

I don’t have a degree in sociology or psychology, so I don’t presume to know more than people who make a job of predicting the spread of slang, diseases, gossip, or refugees. “People are basically good. There’s no such thing as a psychopath, just people who CHOOSE to make bad decisions.”

If you don’t have a degree in climate science, why would you presume to know more than people who deduce based on chemistry, temperature data, electromagnetism, historical weather patterns, and the fossil record that the amount of carbon dioxide human industry has generated is causing the world’s climate to change? “Well, it still snows, and I don’t want to think about the fact that I might have to be accountable to future generations for my choices, so you MUST be trying to scam me.”

  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

Because you’re already sad, not because eating makes you sad. Eating just doesn’t make you HAPPY.

Because you’re already sad, not because eating makes you sad. Eating just doesn’t make you HAPPY.

(Source: my-depression-confessions, via catapoop)

wolfcorpses:

heytheretylerr:

WHAT KIND OF WIZARD FISH IS THIS

IT’S A NIGHT FURY

wolfcorpses:

heytheretylerr:

WHAT KIND OF WIZARD FISH IS THIS

IT’S A NIGHT FURY

(Source: BBC, via catapoop)

How Diamonds Became The Stones Of Love

osjecam:

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

(via a-punk-kid)